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Self love or true love

A old man ask to a young man: Why you eat fish.

He replied ” because I love the fish.

The old man answers: Oh you love the fish that’s why you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it. Then he said don’t tell me you love the fish infact you love yourself and because the fish tastes good to you therefore you took it out of the water and killed it and eat it. So much what is love is like this fish love.

A young couple falls in love what does that mean. Is they really in love?

No. That means that he saw in this women someone who he felt could provide him with all of his physical and emotional needs and same as she thought in this man somebody that she feels write all this needs and that was love.

But Reality is each one is looking for their own needs.

Its not love for the others infact the other person becomes a vehicle for my gratification.

A philosopher right said ;

People makes serious mistake in thinking that you give to those whom you love and the real answer is you love those to whom you give.

And this point is if I give something to you

I have invested myself in you,,,,and since self love is given as everybody love themselves. Now that a part of me is becoming you but there’s a part of me in you that I love.

So true love is a love of giving not a love of receiving.

#Emotions #Stoic_Philosophy

What upsets people is not things themselves but their judgements about the things.

Our emotions are a combination of two elements; an affective movement within the body and a judgement.

Suffering arises when we attach judgement to these affective movements that are beyond our control.

For Example; to love some one is within your control,

The judgement that this love should be returned and should be so forever is not.

#Emotions #Stoic_philosophy

“Are moral values and teaching a limited to religion “?

-No, ofcource not. We can ignore religion and still we have moral values and teachings.

The era has changed. Also it’s human nature, it is something exist inside human.

-But some says,
Morality without religion cannot reach the same level of certainty that of morality with religion.

-I guess, Morals are the product of society. This is why morality changes over time, yet religion doctrine is fixed.

Often times we change the interpretation of religious doctrine to keep up with the change in mortality (change in cultural values and beliefs).

Example include views in slavery, same gender marriage, the social status of women, laws,etc.

-Also that,

Man is gifted with a moral sense by which he distinguishes good from evil, so each of us was born with some degree of morality.

Hence, Morality is not limited to religion, a nonreligious person might be a moral one, but a real religious person (ofcource depending on his religion) must have morality…………!!!!!!!!!

Book: The Ministry Of Utmost Happiness

Book : The Ministry Of Utmost Happiness by Arundhati Roy

Arundhati Roy decided to show the ugly and excruciatingly painful side of the world.

This is a controversial novel which described the issues of India: Political, religious, and terrorists etc.

Though the narration is confusing, the story focuses on everything and nothing ; and the incidents are disturbing.

In this the writer solely able to show us how to find a smile and sparks of happiness amidst life-changing, traumatising chaos.

Book: Tearful Pages

Book : Tearful Pages by Azra Mufti

This book is a collection of the haunting and painful stories of gender based issues that have crept into the society and morally corrupt our souls. The book covers a wide range of stories that deal with domestic violence, female feticide, war crimes cyber bullying in different parts of the world.

Although the book deal with fictious characters but one can relate the stories with their own lives.

The main aim of the book is to create awareness among the people about how women face crime in difference forms and at various stage of life.

The book will certainly create awareness about some basic laws that women need to have knowledge about and be careful while dealing with others……..

Conversations Matter

Today I learnt that:

If you are debating someone on any issue, your aim is not to convince them to change their opinion.

That’s an utterly futile exercise.

Instead, your objective must to be convince the unbiased person listening to the debate to agree with your point of view

If you are enraged at their argument or upset at how could they have won the debate,

remember that it is through conversation and debate that you argue, challenge, and dislodge them off their position,

and it is your right to free speech that allows you to do so.

We must always remind ourselves that criticism is not persecution, argument is not assault, and words are not violence.

Let speech be free and may conversations flourish.

Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs

Do you think you’d steal food in a mall after you had a nice lunch? What if you were starving for a week and didn’t had any money?

In both scenarios your net gain is the same. What you’d be stealing is the same food, but in the first scenario your physiological needs were satisfied. This means that you value the same thing differently depending on how you are.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a hierarchy on how we need to fulfill some needs before we want to fulfill others. Sometimes we can try to fulfill several needs in parallel, but usually we will prioritize the base of the pyramid, before moving on to higher needs.

Sympathy and Empathy

Someone asked me do you like sympathy?

I said not really …..

He said- you don’t like sympathy….!!!

That made me think. It is true. I have always hated being sympathised with.

It was about wanting to give my best, so that I can accept the outcome with the knowledge that I tried my best.

It was about wanting to avoid sympathy. Because my experience tells me that sympathy is harmful for growth.

Empathy is important, even essential when we live and thrive in society.

But sympathy….????

It makes you the object of pity.

It lowers society’s expectations of you.

It lowers your own expectations from yourself.

It makes you complacent in whatever you do, because since you take yourself to be someone with whom a lot of injustice has happened, any little thing you do becomes a major accomplishment. It hinders your potential to succeed in life.

I now think that the best of outcomes are reached when one does not chicken out. When one faces things bravely. When one takes challenges head on. When one explores the full range of her/ his potential. Because that is what being human is about. To be brave. To not let things pull you down.

As Hannah Gadsby said in her powerful show Nanette-

“To yield and not break, that is incredible strength.”

Go ahead, find that incredible strength within you. Let nothing break you…….!!!!!

Cognitive Dissonance Or Strong Belief

Some times people hold a core belief that is very strong.

When they are presented with evidence that work against that belief the new evidence cannot be accepted.

It creates a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable, called cognitive dissonance .

And because it is so important to protect the core belief, they will rationalize, ignore and even deny anything that doesn’t fit in with that core belief.

But human mind is provided with a power to think and question and it is necessary for every person who stands for progress to criticise every tanet of old beliefs and challenge the efficacy of it.

He has to analyse and understand all the details.

And if after all rigorous reasoning, he come to any conclusion, then his faith should be appreciated.

Because reason is the guiding principle of his life.

But “blind faith” is disastrous. It deprives a man of his understanding power and makes him reactionary.

Any person who claims to be a realist has to challenge the truth of old beliefs.

Because if faith cannot withstand the onsluaght of reason, it collapses……!!!!!!!!

Is truth relative? Does absolute truth exist?

Truth is way more relative than people tend to believe it to be.

But it is both ….
An absolute truth would be something that is absolutely true independently of anything, no matter what. It’s absolutely true always.
Existence exists would be such a truth. It always exists, no matter what, timelessly just is.
A relative truth would be a a perspective that is true from one angle but not from another, while from the other angle something else is equally true
For example: Does the sun radiate heat?Absolutely, this is a physical and verifiable fact. Is the sun hot? Yes, and no. It’s certainly hot to those of us living on Earth; but it’s downright frigid compared to the temperatures of the Big Bang.
As the absolute truth you’re seeking gets more and more abstract, it becomes harder to find an expression of it that is not made relative by the expression itself. For example, for centuries Sufi mystics have argued whether God is found in all things, or all things are God. There are compelling religious foundations for both viewpoints; but since the subject (God) is so abstracted from human experience, the terminology used to explore the problem means that even when such statements are relatively true, no one of them is absolutely so. The absolute truth must be approached in the union of these perspectives.……..